Saturday, November 29, 2008

Flying with Toddlers

December is one of the busiest months for air traffic. I wanted to share an article with you that was written about traveling with todders on airplanes:

Flying with toddlers can be a nightmare at times. This is especially true if the toddler starts screaming and shouting or crying in flight. There is no exit door and place to bring him for a time out till he cools down and composes himself.

Here are some tips on how I manage to have a hassle free flight with my kids.

Tip #1- Bring along some pen and paper and sticker activity books.

My 2yr and 4yr old love doodling and having spare pencils and papers really do help to keep them momentarily occupied for a minimum of 10-15 minutes. My younger one loves for me to draw fishes on the paper for him while his older brother would draw in train tracks and trains.
The boys go ballistic with stickers and love sticking in the various stickers on the relevant pages. It is also a fun way for them to learn.

Tip #2- Have some palm size toys around for them to play with.

Die-cast Thomas the train engines and matchbox cars are a staple in my handbag these few years. With a train or car in hand my boys will be using the plates, chopsticks or even coasters as tracks as they move their toy all around the dining table while waiting to be served.

Tip #3- Pre load cartoons into your mobile/PDA or bring along a portable VCD/PSP

If you are traveling budget like I did there isn’t any in-house movies/show to watch during the flight. By pre loading/downloading Thomas the Train, Barney and other movies onto hubby’s 3G phone it kept them occupied for nearly an hour. Do remember to pack along spare batteries for your phone though.

Tip #4- Bring along their favourite snacks.

Having their chocolate sticks, strawberry milk and other snack food available will keep your child happy and satisfied. They can quietly sit there on the seat and munch away as mine did during the flight.

Tip #5- Try not to let them nap before the flight.

Every time we travel by air I would make it a point to keep the boys fully occupied with various activities to prevent them from falling asleep and taking a nap. It seems to work as when the plane takes off the sound of the engine and the movement of the plane works as instant soothers to lull them off to sleep resulting them in “shutting off” for at least an hour or two.

With these 5 tips in hand are you better equipped in handing your toddler on a flight?

Dominique Goh, elementary school teacher, mom to two active toddlers, freelance writer and blog consultant.

Catch me on my parenting blog- From Dominique's Desk (www.dominiquegoh.com)

Article Source: http://www.wahm-articles.com

Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka

Monday, November 24, 2008

Should You Stay Home with Your Children?

This question of staying home with children has been around for years and years. One side says you do your children a disservice by isolating them at home with you and the other side says you are selfish to go to work to earn money leaving your children with day care workers.

My daughter read something a week ago that still has her upset today. She was reading a message board and a woman bragged that she was a stay at home mom. She felt she was somehow better than others because she was home. She spoke of sacrifices she was making in order to be home and how selfless these actions were.

She then went on to say that her children were wearing shoes that were too small for them, as she couldn’t afford to buy them new shoes.

It was this sentence that upset my daughter. We both know people who have feet and or leg problems and shoes that are too small are a health hazard to children.

This is where staying home might not be the best choice for children. If you can only afford rice and you can’t afford shoes and clothing, then I’m just not sure I can agree you are doing a service to your children staying home and not earning a paycheck.

There are so many options. You can work part time. You can work a shift opposite the other parent. You can look into a daycare in your home, watching other children in addition to watching your own. Do you know someone in direct sales? Offer to sub sell for them. There is no cost to you and you can get a commission on all sales you generate.

There are just too many options to have your children not eating properly and not wearing shoes that fit.

Being home and bonding with your children is wonderful but not at the high price of potential medical danger to them and their bodies.

Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka

Friday, November 21, 2008

Choosing a Summer Camp For Your Children

This is the time of year that summer camps often being having their applications available for registration.

As part of an article writing challenge I joined, I wrote the following article on choosing summer camps:

Summer camp has been one of the highlights of my daughter’s year each and every year. She began going to overnight summer camp when she was just ten years old. This past summer she was a counselor for other ten year olds for the entire summer.

My older daughter did not attend overnight camps, but instead loved the day camps. She went to day camps until she outgrew them, enjoying each and every summer.

There are many camp options available. Here is my list of what to look for:

If you are sending your kids to day camp, do the hours and days of the camp work for your schedule? If they don’t, does the camp offer before care and/or after care?

Whether a day camp or an overnight camp, does the camp have a reputation you are happy with? A few camps my daughters were interested in had received very poor recommendations.

What does an average day at camp look like? If you have a very active child and the activities are singing and art, this is not a good fit. On the flip side if you have a child that really dislikes sports and sports are offered three times per day, this again is not a good fit.

If the camp is an overnight camp, what are the rules about allowing kids to call home? My daughter has been at camps that do allow cell phones and camps that don’t allow cell phones.

For day camps, are snacks provided? How are lunches stored? It can get to over 100 degrees outdoors and that’s not ideal for a lunch to sit out.

For younger kids, is sun screen applied on a regular basis and are liquids offered throughout the day? These are important to your child’s health and well being.

What is the cost of the camp and if you need financial help do they offer scholarships? Camps have varying costs depending on activities.

Are field trips offered? We’ve had field trips offered at both day camps and at overnight camps. What type of transportation is offered on these trips and are the kids left alone at all? Depending on age, this could make or break having your child attend the camp. At age ten , I would not allow my child to be alone, but at age 16, it’s a very different situation.

If your child has any allergies or food restrictions, how will the camp handle those?

For an overnight camp, make sure to choose a length of stay that your child feels comfortable with. At the younger ages, sometimes six to ten days is plenty. When my daughter attended a camp in Washington D.C., four weeks was not long enough. Make sure your child is happy with the length he or she will be away.

Summer camps are a wonderful social experience for your child. By asking the above questions, you’ll pick a camp early on and not face already filled rosters.

Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka

Monday, November 17, 2008

Keeping Up With The Jones Family

I can not count the amount of times I heard from both of my kids “but so and so’s mom bought it for her”, or “but so and so’s mom said it was ok”. I think when children hit a certain age, this phrase automatically enters their vocabulary. For some reason, children think that if another parent has allowed something, this automatically means that all parents should allow it.

I can offer some suggestions to help combat the “but so and so’s mom said it’s alright:

1. Sometimes a discussion of the full picture is in order. For example, I remember being told that a particular child’s mom allowed a later curfew than I did. We then looked at the full picture. This mom also limited phone time, something I had not been doing. I actually asked my daughter if she wanted to stay out later in exchange for limited phone time for one week. Now the choice was hers. She decided to take the earlier curfew.

2. I really believe modeling what we teach is very important. One of my daughters would much prefer designer jeans over the jeans we always end up buying. While she can certainly tell me that so and so wears designer jeans, I can tell her that her own mom does not, and never did, and turned out just fine. As a mom I also do not rush to buy the latest fad being offered. So, when my daughter asks for the newest fad for herself I’m able to say no, and know that my actions match my words.

3. Sometimes our talks turn financial. If my child wants the latest fad, I make a suggestion that she contribute ½ the money. Very often this causes her to rethink how badly she wants the item. Sometimes I offer her the item in exchange for a month of doing the dishes nightly. Usually the item is not that important to be stuck doing dishes for an entire month.

Very seldom will I accept that so and so’s mom said it’s ok. I am not so and so’s mom and my child is not so and so. This friend called “so and so” has rules that perhaps we don’t have and I’m certain we have rules she does not have. I am very open to discussion and negotiation but not if they start with “so and so’s mom said it was ok”.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Helping Children Make Choices

As children grow up, it is important to allow them to make choices and to help them understand the various choices available to them.

If we don’t allow children to make choices and don’t help show children the many choices available, they grow up often feeling trapped in a corner, as they don’t know how to see their choices.

There is a world of difference between appropriate and inappropriate choices. I remember a friend wanting to go visit her mother in another state and saying to her 3 year old “do you want to go visit grandma?” The 3 year old said no.

If a trip is planned, the 3 year old can be told where he/she will be going, but the 3 year old really does not have a choice or a voice in the decision of going on a trip.

An appropriate question about the trip would be, “you may bring one stuffed animal with us on the trip, which one would you like to bring?” It would also be appropriate to say “we’ll be going swimming at Grandma’s house, do you want to bring your blue bathing suit or your green one?”

I’ve seen many parents engage in battle in a restaurant with children. A young child can not handle the choice of every item on the menu. As the parent, you know what your child does and does not eat. Give the child two choices. “Do you want chicken or a hamburger tonight?” Asking a young child “what do you want to eat tonight?” allows more choices than a young child can handle. And what if your child decides he/she wants pizza and pizza is not one of the menu choices? Even as adults we do not always have unlimited choices. Often we must make a choice from 3 or 4 options.

Getting dressed in the morning was never an issue in our home. From the time my kids were old enough to choose their own clothes, I allowed that choice. Sometimes what they chose matched and sometimes it did not. I never found a problem in allowing clothing choices.

If you see your child struggling in making choices, give them fewer choices. For example, asking the child which stuffed animal they want to bring may present more choices than the child can process. Offer two choices. The child will either pick from the two, or the child might say “I don’t like those choices, I actually see another choice, the brown bear, and that’s what I want”. This is great if the child sees another choice. Haven’t many of us as adults looked back and wished we’d seen a different option, but we didn’t see it until after the fact?

Fast forwarding to preteen and teen years, children can actually understand and discuss the consequences of their choices. An example is when two invitations come in for the same day/night. They have to choose. This is often a very difficult choice. Helping the child see the pros and cons of each side can help the child reach a decision. Or perhaps the child needs to make an elective choice at school. Again, helping the child see the pros and cons can help the child reach a decision. For example, perhaps the child is looking at taking a foreign language in junior high as an elective. However they really want journalism also. This again, is a tough choice. How will the two choices affect high school? Is either choice one that can be postponed one year? These are choices I would never make for my child. But rather I would help them look at all angles so that they could make the decision. One year my daughter had to choose between cheerleading and the school musical. Both needed her after school and she could only do one. This was an extremely hard decision for her to make. She really wanted both. Her choice was the musical. One of the consequences we spoke about was that the coach of the junior high team was very close friends with the coach of the high school team and often helped coach the high school team. We knew that in high school making the cheer squad might not happen as a result of this choice.

When we help kids understand the many choices they have on a day to day basis, they seldom feel trapped in the corner with no choices.

Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka

Monday, November 10, 2008

Helping Children with Homework

I think every parent out there has heard the phrase “I don’t get it” in reference to the homework assigned.

If you think back to when you were a child I would guess that like me, homework was not the way you wanted to spend your time. For me, if there was any way to get out of homework, I would look for that out.

Teachers do assign homework. Depending on grade and subject matter, many teachers assign homework 4 nights per week: Mon-Thurs. As children get into the upper grades there will also be weekend homework and school break homework.

As a parent, please remember that homework is an opportunity for children to practice the skills they’ve learned in the classroom. While there may be a time or two that the child needs a bit more instruction, most children should have a grasp of what they’ve been asked to do at home.

If the parent does the homework for the child, the child loses out on the practice and if the current lesson is used in a future lesson the child will fall even further behind in skills.

Communication with the teacher is essential. Ask the teacher how long the homework should take the child. In the lower grades, often 30 minutes is all that the homework should take. As the children get older this time will increase and of course when the child enters high school there will be homework from most classes most days.

Developing homework skills at a young age is what will help the student as they enter the higher grades and have more work that needs to be completed at home. You can help your child develop these homework skills by monitoring what they are doing. This does not mean nagging them or doing the homework for them, it means monitoring how long it takes them, if they seem to be grasping the concepts and then applying them to the work at home and if they are able to stay focused to complete the task.

If you believe there is a problem, go to the teacher. Work together to discover the best way to help your child. Does your child need a tutor? Does your child need to sit in the front of the class? Does your child have a vision problem and is not properly seeing the work in class?

As your child gets older they will not only have more homework, but eventually they will have jobs and other responsibilities in life. They need to learn the skills to get help when help is needed. Your doing their homework does not help them develop all of these necessary skills.

The next time your child says “I don’t get it”, ask more questions to find out what the real problem is.

Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Winter Activities For Teens and Tweens

With winter coming and tweens and teens being indoors more, we’ll be hearing a lot more “mom I’m bored.”

Over the years, there are so many indoor activities my kids have been involved in. I’d like to share some ideas:

Find a pen pal. My older daughter spent an entire year writing to people in several other countries. They exchanged stickers and a few other small trinkets. These were hand written letters that the two parties exchanged.

Work on a jigsaw puzzle. We have a table we’ve set up in our family room many times. We buy puzzles at garage sales and then work them together. We’ve gotten scenes from other countries and also very tough to work puzzles such as a box of chocolates.

Work crossword puzzles. My daughter increased her vocabulary tremendously doing crossword puzzles. She began with simple crossword puzzles and then continues working harder and harder puzzles. Today, no one in the family can beat her at word games.

Try new recipes. My kids have had so much fun looking for recipes online, shopping for the ingredients and then creating meals. There is no limit to what your tweens and teens can make. We are about to learn to make sushi in our home.

Create a family tree. I have started this many times but never finished. There are so many sites dedicated to genealogy research. Ask your teens to each trace back one half of their family.

Write a game show. This can be so much fun for teens to create and write their own game show. Invite over a few friends and then play the game after it’s completed.

Offer to help the seniors in your town. The winter months can be cold and more difficult for teens to get out and about. Can your teen market for a senior while you’re doing the family shopping? Can your teen help decorate a senior’s home for the holidays? Can your teen shovel snow or rake leaves for a neighborhood senior?

Learn a new language. There are many books and CD’s on the market today to help you learn a new language. Visit your local library to see what they have available.

Create a website. There are several free places to create websites. Learn HTML and have fun creating a website that is yours.

Decorate or redecorate your bedroom. Organize drawers and closets. Hang posters on the walls. Move the furniture around. Teens spend so much time in their bedrooms; this is a wonderful activity to make their room to their liking.

Sort the family photos. Create either photo albums or scrapbook albums with the family albums. You can sort by year, by season or even by person.

Enjoy some of these activities with your tween or teen this winter. Get them involved in activities to help those cold months slide on by.

Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Having Children Help with Laundry

Laundry is one of those chores that you’ll be doing all throughout your life. You produce laundry as an infant and you continue to produce laundry all through your adult life. I believe every adult, whether male or female, should know how to do laundry.

Even young children can help with laundry. Start with putting laundry baskets or laundry hampers in everyone’s rooms. Each person is responsible for putting their laundry into their own basket. When children are not quite old enough to do this chore, you can tell the child what you are doing and get them used to the fact that in their room is a laundry basket.

I separate clothes into a few piles. I have colored clothes, white clothes, towels and sheets. Children can help separate once laundry day has arrived. Here in California, it’s very common to have the washer and dryer in the garage. Only once have my laundry machines been inside the house.

In the garage I have 4 piles. Children can take the clothes out of their laundry baskets and put those clothes into the appropriate piles. This helps children learn that it might not be wise to wash white socks with dark blue jeans.

Once you measure the laundry soap, children can pour the soap into the machine. Depending on the age of the child, they might be able to measure the soap also.

When it’s time to put the clothes into the dryer, let the kids help. Are there items you don’t put into the dryer? The kids, depending on age, might be able to pull those clothes out for you.

Do you use dryer sheets? The kids can put the dryer sheets into the dryer and even turn the dryer on.

When the clothes are done being dried children should be able to help put them away. Every family has their own routine. Kids can sort socks. Kids can fold towels. Kids can hang shirts on hangers. Kids can put folded clothes into their dresser drawers.

My kids have been doing their own laundry since they were preteens. They have learned how to sort loads, read labels and remove stains.

Teach your kids at a young age how to help with laundry and you’ll cut your work load as they begin to take responsibility for their own laundry.

Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka