As parents we all need to occasionally be reminded of what we can do to be the best parents to our children. Below is a list of five of my favorite tips:
1. Listen to your child. My idea of listening is very different than many other peoples. When I say listen, I mean truly listen. Let your child do the talking. This is not the time to voice your opinion. This is not the time to tell your child they handled something wrong, or should have handled it differently. This is time to just listen to your child. I have a very special 5 year old who comes to visit me from time to time. A few times when she’s come she’s been very upset. When someone at school says something mean, this is very traumatic to a 5 year old. I just listen and offer hugs. Often when she leaves, she is smiling. I then have a 16 year of my own. When she talks, I listen. I let her tell me what’s happening, how she solved the situation and how she feels about how she handled everything. This is listening.
2. When helping children recognize the differences between the choice they made and other choices, always talk about the choices, or the behavior, never talk about the child. The child is not good or bad or right or wrong. However a child might have made a choice that was not a great choice. Or the child might have made a choice that was just excellent. With a very young child, they might decide to pull a dogs tail. It’s important to stop the behavior but to also talk about the behavior not that the child was “wrong”. When we pull a dogs tail, the dog just might bite us. However, with the owner’s permission, it’s great to pet the dog on his back. With a teenager, maybe they are making a choice to watch t.v. and not do homework. Talk about the behavior. Talk about the future. Don’t tell the child they’re wrong in their choice. Instead talk about the behavior and understand why they are making the choice to not do homework.
3. Be consistent. This is so important. Children need very clear guidelines. If a behavior is not ok on Monday, but ok on Tuesday, children become uncertain and confused. If they must wash their hands before eating, then make sure this happens every single time. If you are in a restaurant, you can use the restroom there to wash hands. If you are at a friend’s home, you can use the restroom there to wash hands. By being consistent it will be habit for the kids to wash their hands before eating. If your child is not allowed to jump on the couch, then there must be consequences every single time he/she jumps on the couch. When you are consistent, your children recognize that what you say is the way it is. They trust you. I know it sounds “weird” but when you are inconsistent, children don’t trust what you say. They know that your word might or might not be true.
4. Allow your child to make choices. Choices build a child’s self esteem and self confidence. With a very young child, allow them to choose their own outfit. Allow them to choose what toy to play with. Allow them to choose which book to read. With an older child, allow them to help choose which foods to serve with a meal. Allow them to choose their own clothes at the store. Allow them to begin developing their own routines of when to do homework, when to talk on the phone, and when to watch t.v. When we allow our children to make choices, we are helping them develop their own self confidence.
5. Spend time with your children doing what they want to do. Spending time with your child is so important. Having you, their parent, involved in the activity they’ve chosen can lead to a non stop smile on your child’s face. Does your 3 year old want to go to the park? Go, have fun. Does your 5 year old want to go to McDonalds? Go, grab a diet coke and watch your child smile. Does your teenager want to go to the mall? Go, enjoy the time together. Children want to be with mom and dad.
Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
How to Help the Child Who Does Not Like to Read
As parents we all recognize the importance of reading, but what do you do when your child just does not like or enjoy reading? Here are several ideas and tips I found over the years.
Magazines are a wonderful way to help your child enjoy reading. My daughter loved fashion and beauty magazines. She would spend hours reading the articles and tips. Over the years, several teachers allowed her to count her magazine reading and write her reports on articles she found in magazines. If you have a child that is not enjoying reading, talk to the teacher and see if magazine reading is an acceptable alternative.
Read to your child as they follow along. I remember as an adult I met a 14 year old boy through a teen community I worked for online. He once told me that his mother still read to him. I asked him about this routine. He said he loved hearing his mom read to him and it gave him and his mom great quality time together. He had a younger sister and his mom read to her each night, so after putting her to bed she would come spend time with her son and they would read together. He chose the books and she would read. This got her involved in his favorite books and this allowed him to comprehend the book without him actually reading it. He told me that often after hearing his mom read the book, he would go back and reread the section they had read last night.
Buy a craft kit or model airplane kit and have your child read the instructions to put it together. This again is a wonderful way to spend quality time with your child while helping them enjoy reading. The end results are wonderful as they have not only read the instructions and followed them, but in the end you have a wonderful product you can use, hold or display.
Cook together, with your child reading the instructions. There is no incentive like brownies, cookies, or even lasagna. The catch is the child has to help read and prepare the food. My daughter has spent hours pouring through and reading cookbooks. We’ve also spent hours online looking at, reading and printing recipes. Young children can help measure, pour and mix. Older children can help shop for the foods, read the labels and make sure you have the right ingredients.
Crossword puzzle books, word find books and logic puzzle books are wonderful for older kids. I have also seen very simple word find books for younger children. Not only does your child have to read the words in word find books but then they have to find the words hidden amongst other letters. As my kids got a little older they used to create their own word find puzzles. We would make the grid on the computer. They would then create a word find based on a theme. They’d write the words, insert the words into the grid and then use the remaining letters of the alphabet as fillers. It was always fun for them to make sure they used every letter of the alphabet at least once or twice.
Does your child like comic books? Again, this might be an area where you can negotiate with a teacher. Can your child write a report on the theme of the comics? Can your child share any lessons learned from the comics? Can your child write a report about the characters in the comic book? How does the character dress? What are some of the personality traits of the character? What criteria is the child using to determine the personality traits?
When you have a child that does not like to read, it’s time to get creative and try some of the above ideas or others you may have to interest your child in written words.
Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka
Magazines are a wonderful way to help your child enjoy reading. My daughter loved fashion and beauty magazines. She would spend hours reading the articles and tips. Over the years, several teachers allowed her to count her magazine reading and write her reports on articles she found in magazines. If you have a child that is not enjoying reading, talk to the teacher and see if magazine reading is an acceptable alternative.
Read to your child as they follow along. I remember as an adult I met a 14 year old boy through a teen community I worked for online. He once told me that his mother still read to him. I asked him about this routine. He said he loved hearing his mom read to him and it gave him and his mom great quality time together. He had a younger sister and his mom read to her each night, so after putting her to bed she would come spend time with her son and they would read together. He chose the books and she would read. This got her involved in his favorite books and this allowed him to comprehend the book without him actually reading it. He told me that often after hearing his mom read the book, he would go back and reread the section they had read last night.
Buy a craft kit or model airplane kit and have your child read the instructions to put it together. This again is a wonderful way to spend quality time with your child while helping them enjoy reading. The end results are wonderful as they have not only read the instructions and followed them, but in the end you have a wonderful product you can use, hold or display.
Cook together, with your child reading the instructions. There is no incentive like brownies, cookies, or even lasagna. The catch is the child has to help read and prepare the food. My daughter has spent hours pouring through and reading cookbooks. We’ve also spent hours online looking at, reading and printing recipes. Young children can help measure, pour and mix. Older children can help shop for the foods, read the labels and make sure you have the right ingredients.
Crossword puzzle books, word find books and logic puzzle books are wonderful for older kids. I have also seen very simple word find books for younger children. Not only does your child have to read the words in word find books but then they have to find the words hidden amongst other letters. As my kids got a little older they used to create their own word find puzzles. We would make the grid on the computer. They would then create a word find based on a theme. They’d write the words, insert the words into the grid and then use the remaining letters of the alphabet as fillers. It was always fun for them to make sure they used every letter of the alphabet at least once or twice.
Does your child like comic books? Again, this might be an area where you can negotiate with a teacher. Can your child write a report on the theme of the comics? Can your child share any lessons learned from the comics? Can your child write a report about the characters in the comic book? How does the character dress? What are some of the personality traits of the character? What criteria is the child using to determine the personality traits?
When you have a child that does not like to read, it’s time to get creative and try some of the above ideas or others you may have to interest your child in written words.
Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Helping Your Children Organize Their Bedrooms
How many times have you heard “mom I don’t know where to put this?” My kids also love the phrase “my closet is too full”. I’d like to share some tips on helping your child organize their room.
Closets – Whenever you buy new clothes, get rid of some old clothes. Children grow and clothing through usage wears out. Even though my kids say “but I wear everything”, when we really go through their closets, we always find clothes that either don’t fit or are worn out. If they group like items, they’re much more likely to be able to find what they’re looking for. Group all their shirts together, all their pants together etc. We use plastic storage bins for the shelf in their closets. These bins are clearly labeled so that we can see exactly what’s inside. I don’t mind stacked bins as long as the bins are labeled and kept organized. The floors of their closets are used mostly for shoes and backpacks. I don’t mind buying new shoes, but the same rules apply to shoes that apply to clothes, we need to throw out what doesn’t fit and what has worn out.
Bookcases – We have lots of bookcases in our house. I probably have more than the kids. I really like bookcases. However, bookcases are a haven for clutter and items we just don’t know what to do with. Usually once a month or so, we all choose a few shelves and we go through them, getting rid of those items we no longer need and putting away the items we believe we do still need. Old books need to be given away, sold online or traded in at the used bookstore. Once you’ve read the book, unless you truly believe you’ll read it again, it needs to go. There are exceptions like the Harry Potter series. We have every book in the series and I’m certain those will be passed down to the next generation. This is the exception to the rule and we don’t have a lot of exceptions. Some schoolwork can be saved but most of it can be recycled. There are not a lot of papers that are needed for the next year. If you have long essays, yes, save them. They took a lot of work and we’re all proud of the work done. However, pieces of paper from homework, old tests etc. are only necessary if they’ll be used to study for a future exam. At the end of the school year those items need to be tossed, less the essays we already spoke about. If you keep the bookcases clear of the clutter, you can almost always find what you’re looking for and even display your knickknacks in a way that you’ll be able to enjoy them.
Night stands – Both of my kids have night stands. They have a clock and other assorted stuff on the top. It’s the drawers I want to see kept organized. I personally keep a pair of glasses, tissues and a few other things in my drawer. Both of my girls wear glasses. I believe that drawer is the perfect place to keep their glasses. Though they wear contacts, they need their glasses when they wake up in the morning. That drawer is also a great place to keep your current reading book and your journal. These are items you might want when you are in bed.
Under the Bed – Have you looked under your child’s bed recently? I am always amazed at what my younger daughter tries to store under there. I’ve found old books, old clothes, one shoe and even old food. Of course I’ve told her many times that none of this is ok. Today, they make many storage bins that slide in right under your bed. These are great for storing off season clothing or other items you absolutely want to keep but don’t use year round. I’m actually ok with big bulky current year text books hanging out under the bed, as long as it’s a temporary storage situation.
If you can keep these 4 areas organized, you’re well on your way to having a room where most everything can be found and enjoyed.
Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka
Closets – Whenever you buy new clothes, get rid of some old clothes. Children grow and clothing through usage wears out. Even though my kids say “but I wear everything”, when we really go through their closets, we always find clothes that either don’t fit or are worn out. If they group like items, they’re much more likely to be able to find what they’re looking for. Group all their shirts together, all their pants together etc. We use plastic storage bins for the shelf in their closets. These bins are clearly labeled so that we can see exactly what’s inside. I don’t mind stacked bins as long as the bins are labeled and kept organized. The floors of their closets are used mostly for shoes and backpacks. I don’t mind buying new shoes, but the same rules apply to shoes that apply to clothes, we need to throw out what doesn’t fit and what has worn out.
Bookcases – We have lots of bookcases in our house. I probably have more than the kids. I really like bookcases. However, bookcases are a haven for clutter and items we just don’t know what to do with. Usually once a month or so, we all choose a few shelves and we go through them, getting rid of those items we no longer need and putting away the items we believe we do still need. Old books need to be given away, sold online or traded in at the used bookstore. Once you’ve read the book, unless you truly believe you’ll read it again, it needs to go. There are exceptions like the Harry Potter series. We have every book in the series and I’m certain those will be passed down to the next generation. This is the exception to the rule and we don’t have a lot of exceptions. Some schoolwork can be saved but most of it can be recycled. There are not a lot of papers that are needed for the next year. If you have long essays, yes, save them. They took a lot of work and we’re all proud of the work done. However, pieces of paper from homework, old tests etc. are only necessary if they’ll be used to study for a future exam. At the end of the school year those items need to be tossed, less the essays we already spoke about. If you keep the bookcases clear of the clutter, you can almost always find what you’re looking for and even display your knickknacks in a way that you’ll be able to enjoy them.
Night stands – Both of my kids have night stands. They have a clock and other assorted stuff on the top. It’s the drawers I want to see kept organized. I personally keep a pair of glasses, tissues and a few other things in my drawer. Both of my girls wear glasses. I believe that drawer is the perfect place to keep their glasses. Though they wear contacts, they need their glasses when they wake up in the morning. That drawer is also a great place to keep your current reading book and your journal. These are items you might want when you are in bed.
Under the Bed – Have you looked under your child’s bed recently? I am always amazed at what my younger daughter tries to store under there. I’ve found old books, old clothes, one shoe and even old food. Of course I’ve told her many times that none of this is ok. Today, they make many storage bins that slide in right under your bed. These are great for storing off season clothing or other items you absolutely want to keep but don’t use year round. I’m actually ok with big bulky current year text books hanging out under the bed, as long as it’s a temporary storage situation.
If you can keep these 4 areas organized, you’re well on your way to having a room where most everything can be found and enjoyed.
Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Use Encouragement Not Criticism to Help Children Improve
Zig Ziglar, an internationally known motivational speaker, has said "When we have positive input, we have positive output, and when we have negative input, we have negative output."
Our words are very powerful tools, especially with impressionable children. We need to pause and think before we give corrections and feedback on what our children are doing.
Criticism is punitive
Our children judge themselves on the opinions we have of them. When we use harsh words, demeaning adjectives or a sarcastic tone of voice, we literally strip a child's core of self-confidence and make them less likely to try to please us. Studies have shown that verbal abuse is more likely than physical abuse to damage children’s self esteem. Not only does it damage their soul, it is counter productive to cooperation and lasting change.
Encouragement is uplifting
Encouragement is the process of focusing on your children's assets and strengths in order to build their self-confidence and feelings of worth.Parents need to convey though words and gestures that we appreciate their efforts and improvement, not just their accomplishments. We need to make sure they understand that our love and acceptance is not dependent on their behavior or winning the prize in soccer.
Encouragement Works
As a parent educator, mother and grandmother, may I suggest that you need to be very careful of the words you choose to motivate your children? It helps if you break up the word to read "en" courage, which means giving a gift of courage: the courage to keep trying, to keep up the good work, to focus on next time and not give up. This courage helps the child realize that they can make mistakes and they will still be loved and valued. Where as "dis" courage or criticism takes away the courage to try new things or work harder for fear of getting in trouble and displeasing the adults.
What choices could you make next time?
Help the child and yourself recognize that mistakes are never final and frequently we get a "do-over" or a second chance. The past is done; we can learn from it and then focus on the future
Thank you for doing a great job
Those of you working with children on a daily basis do the most important work in the world. I applaud your efforts and "en" courage you to choose your words carefully when you want the children you care for to improve their behavior. Words have the power to build up or destroy. As caring adults, the goal is to strengthen the character of the child as well as get the jackets, bikes, toys, etc. picked up on a consistent basis.
A Free Gift For You
Judy H. Wright also known as Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author, would like to give you a Free eBook on communicating with positive results. You can find it at www.UseEncouragingWords. You are also invited to free teleclasses every Thursday on enhancing relationships. To check the schedule, please go to www.ArtichokePress.com
Article Source: http://www.wahm-articles.com
Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka
Our words are very powerful tools, especially with impressionable children. We need to pause and think before we give corrections and feedback on what our children are doing.
Criticism is punitive
Our children judge themselves on the opinions we have of them. When we use harsh words, demeaning adjectives or a sarcastic tone of voice, we literally strip a child's core of self-confidence and make them less likely to try to please us. Studies have shown that verbal abuse is more likely than physical abuse to damage children’s self esteem. Not only does it damage their soul, it is counter productive to cooperation and lasting change.
Encouragement is uplifting
Encouragement is the process of focusing on your children's assets and strengths in order to build their self-confidence and feelings of worth.Parents need to convey though words and gestures that we appreciate their efforts and improvement, not just their accomplishments. We need to make sure they understand that our love and acceptance is not dependent on their behavior or winning the prize in soccer.
Encouragement Works
As a parent educator, mother and grandmother, may I suggest that you need to be very careful of the words you choose to motivate your children? It helps if you break up the word to read "en" courage, which means giving a gift of courage: the courage to keep trying, to keep up the good work, to focus on next time and not give up. This courage helps the child realize that they can make mistakes and they will still be loved and valued. Where as "dis" courage or criticism takes away the courage to try new things or work harder for fear of getting in trouble and displeasing the adults.
What choices could you make next time?
Help the child and yourself recognize that mistakes are never final and frequently we get a "do-over" or a second chance. The past is done; we can learn from it and then focus on the future
Thank you for doing a great job
Those of you working with children on a daily basis do the most important work in the world. I applaud your efforts and "en" courage you to choose your words carefully when you want the children you care for to improve their behavior. Words have the power to build up or destroy. As caring adults, the goal is to strengthen the character of the child as well as get the jackets, bikes, toys, etc. picked up on a consistent basis.
A Free Gift For You
Judy H. Wright also known as Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author, would like to give you a Free eBook on communicating with positive results. You can find it at www.UseEncouragingWords. You are also invited to free teleclasses every Thursday on enhancing relationships. To check the schedule, please go to www.ArtichokePress.com
Article Source: http://www.wahm-articles.com
Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Helping Your Child Off to College
Today's post is for all those with college bound kids.
When our children enter high school, though we think about them eventually going off to college, we know it’s still a long 4 years away. We know we must first survive those teen years.
Then all of a sudden, the acceptance letters start coming in and our children are faced with choosing which school they wish to attend of those they were accepted to.
As the summer moves on, it’s time to help our college bound teenager begin packing.
So what are some of the must have’s for college?
1. A computer. We found that the kids that did not have their own computers most certainly were at a disadvantage. While the library does have computers, during peak times, it’s very difficult to find a free computer. Knowing a computer is a necessity, it is my recommendation that you begin saving the day your child enters high school. If you save $25 per month over the four years your child is in high school, you’ll have $1200 plus interest at the end of the four years. This will go a long way in helping your child purchase that necessary computer.
2. Bedding. If your child is going to live in the dorm, they will need bedding appropriate for a dorm room. The dorms both of my daughters have been in had long beds. These long sheets can often be found at either Walmart or Target. Contact the housing office and ask ahead of time what size sheets you’ll need. Remember your child at home. Their bedroom was their own personal haven. Help them pick items for their college room that will make their room a haven away from home. I made my daughter an afghan to take with her when she left for school. She still has that afghan today.
3. Bathroom supplies. Think of your teens’ bathroom at home. My daughter who lives at home has a blow dryer, a curling iron, makeup and a whole cabinet full of supplies. Whether your child lives in a dorm, or shares an apartment, they will be sharing a bathroom with others. Help them buy supplies and storage units that will hold everything they want to have with them at school. We searched at Target for storage units that could be carried back and forth between dorm room and bathroom. Consider what towels your teen is going to need. How often do they think they’ll do laundry? How many towels will they need to tide them over between laundry days? Go through their bathroom at home and determine what items can be left, what should be thrown away and what should be packed to take to school.
4. A cell phone is pretty standard these days for those in college. My own daughter has never had a telephone in her room at college or the apartments she’s shared with others. When I was college age, I remember the phone bill coming each month and everyone arguing over who made which calls and then trying to determine how much sales tax each person should pay. Today, the college kids use cell phones. Most plans have free long distance, making cell phone use the ideal way to communicate.
5. Kitchen Supplies. Even when my daughter was on a meal plan at school she still had both a microwave and a small refrigerator. She could store water and leftovers in the refrigerator and the microwave could cook a just purchased t.v. dinner and also heat up leftovers. These were really the only two “kitchen supplies” my daughter had her freshman year. When she moved into a dorm suite the next year, there was now a shared kitchen. She wanted some supplies of her own, so she was not always using someone else’s silverware, plates and cups. We bought some very basic utensils. We shopped at Target, buying very inexpensive supplies, knowing if they got lost or misplaced, we could easily replace them. Remember, this is home to your college student. Helping make them feel at home is the goal. There are many storage units designed for kitchen supplies. Buy a small storage unit that your student’s silverware and dishes can be stored in.
These are some of the basic must have’s for going to college. Consider sending a gift card with your student to purchase those items you may have forgotten or not considered. Sometimes you don’t always know what you need until you get there. If there is a Walmart, or Target, or K-Mart, buy a gift card that your student can use. Help them create their home away from home.
Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka
When our children enter high school, though we think about them eventually going off to college, we know it’s still a long 4 years away. We know we must first survive those teen years.
Then all of a sudden, the acceptance letters start coming in and our children are faced with choosing which school they wish to attend of those they were accepted to.
As the summer moves on, it’s time to help our college bound teenager begin packing.
So what are some of the must have’s for college?
1. A computer. We found that the kids that did not have their own computers most certainly were at a disadvantage. While the library does have computers, during peak times, it’s very difficult to find a free computer. Knowing a computer is a necessity, it is my recommendation that you begin saving the day your child enters high school. If you save $25 per month over the four years your child is in high school, you’ll have $1200 plus interest at the end of the four years. This will go a long way in helping your child purchase that necessary computer.
2. Bedding. If your child is going to live in the dorm, they will need bedding appropriate for a dorm room. The dorms both of my daughters have been in had long beds. These long sheets can often be found at either Walmart or Target. Contact the housing office and ask ahead of time what size sheets you’ll need. Remember your child at home. Their bedroom was their own personal haven. Help them pick items for their college room that will make their room a haven away from home. I made my daughter an afghan to take with her when she left for school. She still has that afghan today.
3. Bathroom supplies. Think of your teens’ bathroom at home. My daughter who lives at home has a blow dryer, a curling iron, makeup and a whole cabinet full of supplies. Whether your child lives in a dorm, or shares an apartment, they will be sharing a bathroom with others. Help them buy supplies and storage units that will hold everything they want to have with them at school. We searched at Target for storage units that could be carried back and forth between dorm room and bathroom. Consider what towels your teen is going to need. How often do they think they’ll do laundry? How many towels will they need to tide them over between laundry days? Go through their bathroom at home and determine what items can be left, what should be thrown away and what should be packed to take to school.
4. A cell phone is pretty standard these days for those in college. My own daughter has never had a telephone in her room at college or the apartments she’s shared with others. When I was college age, I remember the phone bill coming each month and everyone arguing over who made which calls and then trying to determine how much sales tax each person should pay. Today, the college kids use cell phones. Most plans have free long distance, making cell phone use the ideal way to communicate.
5. Kitchen Supplies. Even when my daughter was on a meal plan at school she still had both a microwave and a small refrigerator. She could store water and leftovers in the refrigerator and the microwave could cook a just purchased t.v. dinner and also heat up leftovers. These were really the only two “kitchen supplies” my daughter had her freshman year. When she moved into a dorm suite the next year, there was now a shared kitchen. She wanted some supplies of her own, so she was not always using someone else’s silverware, plates and cups. We bought some very basic utensils. We shopped at Target, buying very inexpensive supplies, knowing if they got lost or misplaced, we could easily replace them. Remember, this is home to your college student. Helping make them feel at home is the goal. There are many storage units designed for kitchen supplies. Buy a small storage unit that your student’s silverware and dishes can be stored in.
These are some of the basic must have’s for going to college. Consider sending a gift card with your student to purchase those items you may have forgotten or not considered. Sometimes you don’t always know what you need until you get there. If there is a Walmart, or Target, or K-Mart, buy a gift card that your student can use. Help them create their home away from home.
Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka
Friday, August 8, 2008
Does Your Child Forget His/Her Homework?
With school starting again soon, I thought I'd share this article I wrote on homework.
I used to get at least one phone call per week from my daughter. She was just frantic. She had left her homework at home and needed me to rush it over to her at school.
On the weeks she remembered her homework each day, I would get a phone call that she had forgotten her lunch and could I please bring her lunch to her as she had no money to buy lunch.
I did bail her out for a while. Then I decided it was time for her to take full responsibility and live with the consequences if she did forget something.
I worked with her to develop systems that I hoped would help eliminate these frantic phone calls and would aid her in remembering all of her materials for school.
In the evening we would develop a check list of everything she needed the next day. This list would include all homework items, along with any books needed. Often a free reading book was needed in class. We would add this to our list. Our list also included lunch, jacket and anything else that was needed the next day.
We then put this note on the front door. We had to leave through the front door in the morning so we put the note where I knew we’d see it. A quick glance at the list would tell my daughter if she had everything she needed.
We then began a day planner. As she went through her day she would write down not only homework assignments but also what items she needed to bring home from school. If she wrote down her math homework, but left the book at school, she could not complete the homework. It was her responsibility to check her day planner to make sure she had everything she needed to bring home. With this day planner, she also knew exactly what her assignments were. No more calling friends to find out what the homework was.
We also put money in her backpack that would cover the cost of one lunch. So, should she forget her lunch at home, she always had the money to buy lunch at school.
We also developed a packing list for spending the night at a friend’s house. Again, it never failed that something was left at home, either a gift, if it was a party, or a pillow or maybe a toothbrush. This packing list made it a snap to throw everything into a duffle bag and not leave something behind.
Checklists and a day planner took us from several calls in a month for forgotten items to almost never forgetting anything at home, or at school.
Audrey :)
http://mytuppereware.com/audreyoka
I used to get at least one phone call per week from my daughter. She was just frantic. She had left her homework at home and needed me to rush it over to her at school.
On the weeks she remembered her homework each day, I would get a phone call that she had forgotten her lunch and could I please bring her lunch to her as she had no money to buy lunch.
I did bail her out for a while. Then I decided it was time for her to take full responsibility and live with the consequences if she did forget something.
I worked with her to develop systems that I hoped would help eliminate these frantic phone calls and would aid her in remembering all of her materials for school.
In the evening we would develop a check list of everything she needed the next day. This list would include all homework items, along with any books needed. Often a free reading book was needed in class. We would add this to our list. Our list also included lunch, jacket and anything else that was needed the next day.
We then put this note on the front door. We had to leave through the front door in the morning so we put the note where I knew we’d see it. A quick glance at the list would tell my daughter if she had everything she needed.
We then began a day planner. As she went through her day she would write down not only homework assignments but also what items she needed to bring home from school. If she wrote down her math homework, but left the book at school, she could not complete the homework. It was her responsibility to check her day planner to make sure she had everything she needed to bring home. With this day planner, she also knew exactly what her assignments were. No more calling friends to find out what the homework was.
We also put money in her backpack that would cover the cost of one lunch. So, should she forget her lunch at home, she always had the money to buy lunch at school.
We also developed a packing list for spending the night at a friend’s house. Again, it never failed that something was left at home, either a gift, if it was a party, or a pillow or maybe a toothbrush. This packing list made it a snap to throw everything into a duffle bag and not leave something behind.
Checklists and a day planner took us from several calls in a month for forgotten items to almost never forgetting anything at home, or at school.
Audrey :)
http://mytuppereware.com/audreyoka
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Making a Connection with Your Teen
Last month, I picked my daughter up from school and as we were driving home, I noticed the car in front of us. There were 4 teens in the car, all smoking, only one window partially cracked.
I proceeded to let my daughter know just how horrible this was. I told her I couldn’t believe these kids were riding in a closed up car all smoking etc. When I finally finished my rant, my wonderful daughter looked me square in the face and said “mom tell you never did that as a teen”. I think it took the two of us 10 minutes to quit laughing. I had one of my momentary forgetting I was ever a teen moments.
Often we can make a connection with our teens if we remember that we too were teens once and share those stories with our kids. Of course I rode in a car with everyone smoking. Of course I cut a class now and again. Of course I had times I did not turn in homework. Sharing funny stories about our own teen years is a wonderful way to connect with our own children.
I have also always taken an interest in the hobbies my children have become involved in. My older daughter took up baseball. She began collecting baseball cards. I really wanted to connect with her so I began collecting football cards. Yep, there I was a 30 year old woman starting my own football card collection. She and I would visit card shops. We would attend card exhibits. We had a blast each creating our own albums.
My younger daughter loves the theater. I make it a point to watch for local performances. When I find them, I offer to buy tickets so that we can attend the various plays in our community. We recently attended a junior high school version of Fiddler on the Roof. The kids were magnificent. My daughter and I had a delightful time.
This is the same daughter that took up cheerleading. We used to attend sports games just so she could watch the cheerleaders and then create routines. These were all wonderful opportunities to connect with one another.
These are just a few ways to connect with your teenager. Look for ways to connect with your teen based on their likes and hobbies. While you may not be able to pick them up and hold them anymore, you now are able to spend quality time and create memories that will last both of you a lifetime.
Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka
I proceeded to let my daughter know just how horrible this was. I told her I couldn’t believe these kids were riding in a closed up car all smoking etc. When I finally finished my rant, my wonderful daughter looked me square in the face and said “mom tell you never did that as a teen”. I think it took the two of us 10 minutes to quit laughing. I had one of my momentary forgetting I was ever a teen moments.
Often we can make a connection with our teens if we remember that we too were teens once and share those stories with our kids. Of course I rode in a car with everyone smoking. Of course I cut a class now and again. Of course I had times I did not turn in homework. Sharing funny stories about our own teen years is a wonderful way to connect with our own children.
I have also always taken an interest in the hobbies my children have become involved in. My older daughter took up baseball. She began collecting baseball cards. I really wanted to connect with her so I began collecting football cards. Yep, there I was a 30 year old woman starting my own football card collection. She and I would visit card shops. We would attend card exhibits. We had a blast each creating our own albums.
My younger daughter loves the theater. I make it a point to watch for local performances. When I find them, I offer to buy tickets so that we can attend the various plays in our community. We recently attended a junior high school version of Fiddler on the Roof. The kids were magnificent. My daughter and I had a delightful time.
This is the same daughter that took up cheerleading. We used to attend sports games just so she could watch the cheerleaders and then create routines. These were all wonderful opportunities to connect with one another.
These are just a few ways to connect with your teenager. Look for ways to connect with your teen based on their likes and hobbies. While you may not be able to pick them up and hold them anymore, you now are able to spend quality time and create memories that will last both of you a lifetime.
Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka
$25 American Express Gift Card
As moms, who wouldn't love an additional $25? Rebekah from SmartMoms is giving away $25. You can read about her offer here http://www.the-day-of-a-mom.com/2008/08/work-at-home-mom-forum-25-giveaway.html
Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka
Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Children Love Routine
One of the reasons children will sing the same song over and over again is because they love routine.
Think of a preschool classroom. The children follow the same routine every day. They begin with hellos and independent play. Children know that day after day when they arrive they will have time to play. My own children hated the phrase “we are running late” when we were getting ready to leave for preschool. They wanted that play time.
From play time the kids move to circle time. For both of my kids, in two different schools, this was the morning routine, play time then circle time.
Now think of elementary school. The children quickly learn the classroom routine. Their papers are turned in at the same place daily. This might be the teacher’s desk, or it might be a bin in the back of the room, but for the entire year, the kids know that when they need to turn in papers they go in the same spot as yesterday. My kids knew which day of the week was library day, which day of the week was computer lab day and which day of the week the science specialist would visit their classroom.
I can even share a junior high routine story. At the junior high my kids attended, the kids had 6 classes each day. They had four before lunch and two after lunch. Once each semester the kids would have a “backwards day”. All this meant was that the kids would attend their classes in reverse order. My kids loved this day. They wrote down their schedules, planned how they would get from class to class and talked on the phone for hours with their friends about this day. Even at junior high age, our kids are so accustomed to routine that breaking the routine for one day caused days of planning. Yes, it was fun, but it was reason for kids to plan ahead.
If preschool, elementary school and junior high school feel it’s important for a routine, wouldn’t it seem natural to try and have a routine at home? While we certainly can and do make spur of the moment decisions, we also have always had a lot of routine. For example, we leave the house at the same time every morning for school. There is never any question about what time we’ll be leaving. I’m going to ask every single morning if everyone has everything they need as there is no turning around. I’m going to ask what everyone wants for breakfast and lunch each and every morning. I’ll make everyone different sandwiches, and then stick in fruit, chips or a granola bar.
Dinner routines are also pretty standard in our home. We eat dinner about the same time every single night. After dinner, it’s homework time. When kids know what to expect and when to expect it, it takes a lot of stress out of their lives. There is no uncertainty about when or how things will happen.
Sport practices and dance classes can be part of the routine. If the kids know they practice on Tuesday of every week and when they get home, they will change and then have dinner, then homework, it’s a routine. It may be different than Monday’s routine but the kids know what to expect each and every week.
I have found that routines have helped create some calm in our home with everyone being a little less stressed.
Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka
Think of a preschool classroom. The children follow the same routine every day. They begin with hellos and independent play. Children know that day after day when they arrive they will have time to play. My own children hated the phrase “we are running late” when we were getting ready to leave for preschool. They wanted that play time.
From play time the kids move to circle time. For both of my kids, in two different schools, this was the morning routine, play time then circle time.
Now think of elementary school. The children quickly learn the classroom routine. Their papers are turned in at the same place daily. This might be the teacher’s desk, or it might be a bin in the back of the room, but for the entire year, the kids know that when they need to turn in papers they go in the same spot as yesterday. My kids knew which day of the week was library day, which day of the week was computer lab day and which day of the week the science specialist would visit their classroom.
I can even share a junior high routine story. At the junior high my kids attended, the kids had 6 classes each day. They had four before lunch and two after lunch. Once each semester the kids would have a “backwards day”. All this meant was that the kids would attend their classes in reverse order. My kids loved this day. They wrote down their schedules, planned how they would get from class to class and talked on the phone for hours with their friends about this day. Even at junior high age, our kids are so accustomed to routine that breaking the routine for one day caused days of planning. Yes, it was fun, but it was reason for kids to plan ahead.
If preschool, elementary school and junior high school feel it’s important for a routine, wouldn’t it seem natural to try and have a routine at home? While we certainly can and do make spur of the moment decisions, we also have always had a lot of routine. For example, we leave the house at the same time every morning for school. There is never any question about what time we’ll be leaving. I’m going to ask every single morning if everyone has everything they need as there is no turning around. I’m going to ask what everyone wants for breakfast and lunch each and every morning. I’ll make everyone different sandwiches, and then stick in fruit, chips or a granola bar.
Dinner routines are also pretty standard in our home. We eat dinner about the same time every single night. After dinner, it’s homework time. When kids know what to expect and when to expect it, it takes a lot of stress out of their lives. There is no uncertainty about when or how things will happen.
Sport practices and dance classes can be part of the routine. If the kids know they practice on Tuesday of every week and when they get home, they will change and then have dinner, then homework, it’s a routine. It may be different than Monday’s routine but the kids know what to expect each and every week.
I have found that routines have helped create some calm in our home with everyone being a little less stressed.
Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka
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