Last month, I picked my daughter up from school and as we were driving home, I noticed the car in front of us. There were 4 teens in the car, all smoking, only one window partially cracked.
I proceeded to let my daughter know just how horrible this was. I told her I couldn’t believe these kids were riding in a closed up car all smoking etc. When I finally finished my rant, my wonderful daughter looked me square in the face and said “mom tell you never did that as a teen”. I think it took the two of us 10 minutes to quit laughing. I had one of my momentary forgetting I was ever a teen moments.
Often we can make a connection with our teens if we remember that we too were teens once and share those stories with our kids. Of course I rode in a car with everyone smoking. Of course I cut a class now and again. Of course I had times I did not turn in homework. Sharing funny stories about our own teen years is a wonderful way to connect with our own children.
I have also always taken an interest in the hobbies my children have become involved in. My older daughter took up baseball. She began collecting baseball cards. I really wanted to connect with her so I began collecting football cards. Yep, there I was a 30 year old woman starting my own football card collection. She and I would visit card shops. We would attend card exhibits. We had a blast each creating our own albums.
My younger daughter loves the theater. I make it a point to watch for local performances. When I find them, I offer to buy tickets so that we can attend the various plays in our community. We recently attended a junior high school version of Fiddler on the Roof. The kids were magnificent. My daughter and I had a delightful time.
This is the same daughter that took up cheerleading. We used to attend sports games just so she could watch the cheerleaders and then create routines. These were all wonderful opportunities to connect with one another.
These are just a few ways to connect with your teenager. Look for ways to connect with your teen based on their likes and hobbies. While you may not be able to pick them up and hold them anymore, you now are able to spend quality time and create memories that will last both of you a lifetime.
Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka
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5 comments:
Connecting with teenagers is the key to keeping them on the right tract. Not a guarantee, but definitely a key.
Guess it's never to early to start connecting with our children and sharing their activites, however young (and our Sonny is three months old). So we're commencing waving our hands around randomly and staring at our reflections...
Great advice, Audrey.
Although my kids are a while away from being teens, I do remember being one myself (dimly).
It's also a great step on the way towards being able to view your kids as separate from yourself and adult in their own right.
And that's the best way to keep a great relationship going with your adult kids. :)
I think I responded to wrong post about kids - just wanted to clerify.
You are so right. I try not to forget what I was like at that age. It's easier with my daughter (since I'm a female too) and harder with my son. I'm thankful I had brothers; it helps me to relate to my son.
Peggy
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