Allowing Teenagers More Freedom

When my daughter was a high school senior, most rules were lifted. She no longer had a curfew. She was allowed to go out on school nights and she even had the option to not go to school when she chose not to.

While this might sound extreme, the reality is that she had 9 months to practice being a freshman in college.

The statistics of how many students end up on probation in college is staggering. Some of this might be avoided by allowing 17 and 18 year old teens more freedom while at home.

If your teen has used good judgment up to this point and if your teen has exhibited a sense of responsibility then it’s time to let go a bit and allow your teen to experience true independence.

As a parent it’s very difficult to watch your teen make a decision that you don’t agree with. It’s also wonderful that you, their parent, will be there to support them if their decision doesn’t quite work out as they had hoped.

Once they leave home you are not as easily accessible to support them through bad choices and difficult decisions.

Communication is important during this transition year in your teen’s life. Discuss their decisions. Don’t take control but offer your thoughts. Share your own experiences.

Let’s say your teen goes out on a school night and then can’t get up for school the next day. You have a few choices. You can allow them the cut in school, since it’s an unexcused absence. You can call in sick for your teen or you can force them to go to school. Remember, next year, they have the option to make this choice for themselves each and every day. What lesson do you want them to learn? For me, I wanted my daughter to experience falling behind from the decision to miss class. She did miss class a few times and then was overwhelmed with work, making the option to miss class a bit less attractive.

There are driving laws in most states. My daughter absolutely had to obey the driving laws and curfews set by the state. Until she was of age, she could not drive others. She was not allowed to be out driving after the state imposed curfew. These were not my rules but rules set by the state and not negotiable.

For teens that have shown good decision making, try allowing their senior year to be a transitional year where they get the “freedom” out of their systems, so they are ready to settle down and attend college the next year.

Audrey :)
http://mytuppeware.com/audreyoka