Eliminating Bedtime Struggles

My daughter had been babysitting the same child for quite some time. She told me that bedtime was just a nightmare. The child did not want to go to bed, did not want to quit playing, and that it would take an hour at times to get the child to finally go to bed, only to have the child pop right back out.

Scenes like this can often be avoided by developing a routine where the child is part of the entire routine. Often at bedtime, children are tired, often overtired. Sometimes they are stimulated versus sleepy. They need to wind down. If we just say “go to bed”, they are far too wound up to follow this direction. By developing a routine that gives them time to wind down, we can eliminate many of the bedtime struggles. Also, by involving the child, the child knows they have some say in how the evening turns out and how the routine will be carried out.

About 10 minutes prior to “getting ready time”, you can announce to the child that in 10 minutes it will be time to pick out pajamas. At the end of the 10 minutes, let the child know it’s now time to go pick out pajamas. If you have a child who tends to lose track of time, make another announcement at the 5 minute mark, letting the child know that he/she has 5 minutes remaining.

Offer a choice of toothbrushes. I’m not sure why parents think a child can or should only have one toothbrush. Part of the bedtime routine is that after pajamas, the child gets to choose which toothbrush will be used that night. Not only does this help in the pattern of bedtime, but it also makes the child want to brush their teeth.

Now comes choosing a book. Depending on the child, it might be fine to offer an entire bookcase worth of books to choose from, or it might be better for the child to only offer them 3 choices. Next, does the child want to sit on the floor, sit on the bed, or lay down in bed to have the book read to them?

If you read for 30 minutes, announce when there are only 10 minutes left of reading time. Announce again when there are only 5 minutes left. When reading time is over, lights go out; it’s time to go to sleep.

If your child does not stay in bed, let them know you’ll be back in 5 minutes. After exactly 5 minutes, go back. Next time, tell them you’ll be back in 10 minutes. After exactly 10 minutes, go back. Two things happen here, one is the child develops the trust that you really will come back, but the child also develops a sense of just how long 5 minutes are, or just how long 10 minutes are.

While establishing this bedtime routine pattern, it’s really important to stick to the times offered to the child. This is what leads the child to learn the routine, know what to expect and know they can count on this same pattern night after night.

Be patient. It can take a few weeks for the child to learn the pattern and realize that this pattern will be there night after night.

Quite often, by involving the child in the choices and by establishing a repeatable pattern, bedtime struggles can be completely eliminated.

Audrey :)
http://mytupperware.com/audreyoka